


My Hands They Shake (My Head it Spins)

by AryaWinchester



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bucky Barnes-centric, First Meetings, I just couldn't figure out how to make it fit, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, ex-assassin bucky, its civil war bucky without the metal arm, nypd detective steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AryaWinchester/pseuds/AryaWinchester
Summary: Bucky is an ex-assassin from the Company in Russia. He runs away and ends up wandering through America. He finds himself in Brooklyn, New York with very little money, no food, and dirty clothes.Bucky winds up at a closed bakery late at night and knocks on the door. Peggy and her niece, Sharon, own the place and let him stay in their extra apartment in exchange for helping out in the shop. Bucky agrees to stay for a couple nights, but those turn into weeks and then months. Bucky works at the shop and stays above it with Peggy and Sharon. It’s not the most glamourous life, but he likes it.Steve is a Sergeant at the 84th Precinct in Brooklyn, New York. He has friends at work, he has a nice apartment not too far away, and there's a small park nearby where he can sit and draw.Steve and the other detectives from the precinct go to a coffee shop nearby for lunch and caffeine at least twice a week. The owners are nice, the atmosphere is warm, and it’s just across the street from the station. One day, Steve notices a new guy at the counter. Usually the people Peggy hires are local, so why has she hired someone Steve has never seen before? The guy in cute and funny though, and Steve may be developing a crush.





	My Hands They Shake (My Head it Spins)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! It's finally here. The Stucky AUBB fic is finally done. This is my baby and I love them.  
> The art was done by Indy (@ribbonsflyingoutthewindow on tumblr). It's embedded in the fic, and they're so amazing. She's an amazing artist.  
> I had quite a few people help me with beta reading and editing. @oh--stars on tumblr, Indy again, and a few people on the SAUBB Slack who I forgot to get URLs for because I'm a dummy (If you helped please comment and I will add you). But thank you to these wonderful people.  
> I would especially like to thank my partner. Amelia (@beyond-a-name). There were so many days where I felt like quitting and she just kept telling me to continue and write something I was happy with. I love her and I probably would've quit long ago without her.  
> I really hope you enjoy the story! The title is from 'I and Love and You' by The Avett Brothers, cause I'm a basic bitch

 

The sky above was dark; a figure was walking down a Brooklyn street. He pulled his hood up and shoved his hands back into his pockets. The rain drenched coat wasn’t doing much for him. He was chilled to the bone.

Lightning lit up the skinny street, illuminating Bucky’s face for him in a nearby window. He looked so tired, he could see that. Dark circles under his eyes, limp unwashed hair and almost a full beard, a tattered backpack over one shoulder. He barely recognised himself anymore. Ever since he left Russia, he had been different.

A car passed by, splashing Bucky's leg with dirty street water. He cursed out loud, trying to wipe it off. It didn’t work.

Now he was tired and his pants were soaked, probably the worst combination for walking down a strange sidewalk.

The only place on the whole street that had lights was a store on the corner lot and the cop shop across the street. Considering his history, he chose the store.

As Bucky got closer, he noticed it was a bakery. The lights were dim but warm, giving out a homey feeling. He also noticed that the OPEN sign in the window was off. Another curse.

Inside, he could see a woman with wavy blonde hair. Bucky knew he looked like a creep staring in the window, but he couldn’t stop.

The sight of pastries on the counter made his stomach rumble. He sighed and walked to the door. He knocked lightly.

Inside, the woman jumped, scared by the noise. She turned and saw Bucky. “Sir, we’re closed. It's 10pm.”

“I-” His voice was hoarse from barely talking. “I know, I’m sorry. Do you know if there's anywhere nearby I could dry off? Or get some food?”

The woman got up and went to the door. She unlocked it and opened it a bit. “Are you lost? Visiting?”

“Uh, something like that.” He didn’t want to go into his history. “I’m sorry to bother you.” He turned to walk away.

“Wait,” the woman tilted her head towards the counter, listening for something. Bucky could hear it too. A soft voice he couldn’t quite make out.

She opened the door before heading to an archway, leading to the back. “Come inside for a minute. Just… wait there.”

Bucky did as he was told. The inside of the bakery was warm. There were tables scattered around and a few arm chairs, as well as a small stage type platform to the side. The walls were covered in artwork and photos. He looked at the one nearest to him. It showed an older woman and a large attractive man in a police uniform sitting at a table drinking coffee. They looked happy.

The woman walked back into the main area. She had a glass of water, which she put down on a nearby table.

“Sit over here. Have some water.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, I’m okay. I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Sit.” She pointed at the chair. “My aunt would kill me if I turned away someone in need. She’ll probably come out in a little bit.”

She walked back through the door, leaving Bucky alone again. He glanced around, looking for anything that could be off. He walked over to the chair and sat down on the edge, not taking off his backpack. He sniffed the water.

“It's safe.”

Bucky looked up, startled. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t heard her walk in.

The woman from the picture was standing in the doorway, holding a teacup and a plate with a scone on it. Her hair was pinned up in victory curls, reminding Bucky of the women in disguise back at the Company. They usually fashioned their styles after 40’s inspired American girls.

“I wasn’t-”

“Yes, you were.” She had a tough face, and it was clear she had seen enough in her life. Her smile was soft, though, and Bucky felt himself starting to relax a bit as she walked over and sat across from him. She set the plate down in front of him and nodded to it. “Eat.”

He picked at the scone and put a piece in his mouth. It was good. He tried not to grab the whole thing and eat it as quickly as he could. Instead, he spoke. “I’m sorry for bothering you after hours.”

She waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. I saw you out there, and anyone who looks like a lost puppy like you did…”

“And thank you for the water and food.”

“What's your name?”

Bucky hesitated. “James. My name is James.”

“Peggy.” She smiled at Bucky. Her voice had an English lilt. “I was a…special agent during the Second World War. I know what soldiers are like after they come back. Paranoid that there are still people trying to kill them. Are you a soldier, James?”

He kept his face flat, but almost bit his lip. Curse his old habits.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Peggy took a sip of her tea. “Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?”

Bucky nodded. He didn’t need anyone caring for him. He didn’t come to America just to give up and rely on others. It's why he left the Company in the first place.

The younger woman walked back into the dining room. “Aunt Peggy?”

“Ah, Sharon. The apartment upstairs, is it clean?” Sharon, raised an eyebrow but answered yes. “Then can you make up the bed for James here? Use one of our sheet sets.”

“No, ma’am, I don’t need-”

“Shush,” Peggy cut him off. “It is far too late for you to be getting to your non-existent bed. You can help clean the shop in the morning to repay us.”

Sharon hurried back through the door and Bucky could hear footsteps go upstairs. Peggy narrowed her eyes at him, trying to calculate something.

“Get upstairs and help Sharon. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Bucky didn’t move, feeling his jaw clench. He shouldn’t have knocked on the door. He shouldn’t have come inside and let his guard down. He should leave, he should-

“James?”

His thoughts were stopped by Peggy. She had moved across the room and looked back at him worried. He stood up and walked to her.

“Thank you, ma’am, for the offer, but I cannot accept.”

“I will not allow you to leave when you are obviously tired and hungry with nowhere to go. I don’t know what you’ve been through or what you’re running from, but I do know I can offer a place for you to be. If you’re worried about Sharon and I, we can give you space. I can go over the security around the building if you want, and you’ll have your own space. Stay here, please.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, just cast his gaze to the floor and locked up. His hand moved to the backpack strap on his shoulder and tightened around it. He could hear her breath and a car outside. He could hear Sharon upstairs walking back and forth. He could hear his own heartbeat, whooshing in his ears. He still couldn’t say anything.

Peggy started moving through the door and up the stairs on the other side of it. Bucky grabbed the rest of the scone and followed her, passing an open kitchen. There was one door beside the staircase he assumed led outside, and another across the kitchen. At the top of the stairs, a short hallway had three doors; one on the right, one directly across on the left, and one at the end of the hall. Peggy opened the door to the right and walked in.

It was an apartment, empty save for a few boxes and full kitchen to the left. Bucky looked around. There were three windows on the far wall, big enough to climb through if necessary and all covered with basic white blinds, and an open door to his right. Sharon was through it, putting a case on a pillow.

“You can stay here,” Peggy said behind him. “Our apartment is at the end of the hall, and there's a laundry machine right across from you. Feel free to use it.”

Bucky turned to her, intending to refuse again, but he was met with warm eyes and a smile. “Please stay here for the night. You can do whatever you want tomorrow, leave after you work, but stay for tonight.”

Sharon slipped past Bucky and took the old woman's hand. “Peggy, you need rest. I’ll finish cleaning the kitchen.”

They were out the door and down the hall when Bucky peaked out and said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Peggy waved at him. “Good night.”

He watched her walk through the door at the end of the hall and Sharon turn around and go past him to the stairs. On the way she gave him a wary glance.

Bucky closed the door and locked and deadbolted it. He checked each window, which were sturdy and seemed new, before moving to the bedroom. There was only one window, which he again checked, and a door which led to a bathroom. There was no window in there, so he did another walk around.

Once he was sure the apartment was secure, he moved back into the bedroom and dropped his bag beside the bed and sat down. It was soft. He pulled his bag onto his lap and started going through the contents.

An extra shirt, underwear, and socks, all dirty. Some empty granola bar wrappers. A notebook and pen. Maps from each city he had been in. A toothbrush and paste he had stolen from a grocery store. Some soap from the same store. A small pouch of money he had collected from the Company and places he visited. A travel mug.

Bucky took each item out, looked it over, put it to the side, then replaced it in his bag. He finished that and moved back on the bed, still clutching the bag to his chest. The bed was pushed against the wall, so he made a pillow and blanket nest in the corner and set up for the night. After finishing half the scone, he tucked the rest in his bag.

His plan was to stay awake. He knew he couldn’t trust this place. Not that Peggy and Sharon seemed bad, but his training had taught him not to trust anyone.

Bucky's plan only worked for a few hours before exhaustion overtook him and he was out like a light.

***

 

A knock on the door made Bucky jump. He sat up and reached for the knife in his boot before remembering where he was. The bakery.

“James?” A woman's voice called from outside the door. Sharon. “James, if you’re up, can you come down and help with dishes?”

“I’m up,” Bucky cleared his throat and spoke again, “I’m up. Give me a minute?”

“Of course.”

He could hear her walking down the hall and going downstairs. He sat for another minute before getting up. He quickly, and with almost military precision, made the bed and got ready. He switched out his shirt and redid his boot laces, trying to make himself presentable. He brushed his teeth with the stolen toothbrush and ran his fingers through his hair, combing out the tangles.

Before he left the apartment, he hid his bag under the foot of the bed. It was easy to get to, but a person couldn’t see it unless they were specifically looking for it.

Bucky made his way downstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. He could hear Peggy talking to someone out front and Sharon running around in the kitchen. As he got closer to the door, he could see people hanging out in the front of shop, drinking coffee and eating breakfast sandwiches. Peggy was smiling at a couple at the register and handing them a brown bag with the words “Carter Bakery” on it.

“Sharon?”

She jumped at her name and turned around to see Bucky. “James! Oh god, you scared me.”

He shifted his weight back and forth on his feet and looked around. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. You said you needed help with dishes?”

She smiled and straightened her back. “Yes! It’s been a busy morning and I’ve just been trying to make enough coffee and keep the sandwiches stocked. If you could do dishes, that would be wonderful.” She led him over to the big industrial sink and pushed up her sleeves. “Our dishwasher is broken right now, because of course it fucking is, so we have to do dishes by hand. We’re getting a repair guy in the afternoon, but we’re running low on plates.”

She continued to run through how to wash dishes, going quickly. Luckily, Bucky was paying attention or he probably would’ve missed something. She spoke at the speed of light, always checking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t needed.

When she was finished, she put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side. “Think you got that?”

“Yes ma’am.”

She smiled again, seemingly amused at being called ma’am. “There are aprons hanging up beside the office door if you need one, and gloves under the island. I’ll be coming back with more dishes soon.”

Bucky was soon alone at the sink so he got started, dipping his hands in the hot water to grab the first dish. He worked fast, cleaning each dish in the hot water then dipping it in the cold to get the suds off and putting it on the drying rack. He could hear Peggy's soft voice coming through the door. Bucky was fully aware of everything around him, but he found it strangely relaxing. The monotonous movements, the buzz of voices in the background. He hadn’t had such a routine activity in so long; he actually enjoyed doing dishes.

 

Bucky wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there when Peggy walked up. She cleared her throat and said, “James, that’s enough for now. Go take a shower. There are towels in the closet. I hate to offend you, but it seems like you haven’t cleaned yourself in a while.”

Bucky opened his mouth to deny the comment (he had scrubbed himself in a creek when he was in Canada), and wanted to continue with the dishes instead, but he knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Instead, he nodded and set down the sponge he was using.

As he was walking up the stairs, he heard Peggy say, “No one will be upstairs for the next three hours. And just so you know, a load in the washer and dryer takes about an hour and a half total.”

He could feel himself smile a bit at the not so subtle way she was trying to get him to do laundry. It had been a long time since he had smiled and it felt weird. He looked over his shoulder, trying to see Peggy again, but she wasn’t in the front of house. He did see Sharon, though, handing an attractive man a large bag and two coffee holders, each with four cups. The man laughed as he tried to balance the large order, and Bucky could hear Sharon say “Are you sure you don’t need help?” The man shook his head, thanked her, and walked towards the door. No one noticed Bucky, standing on the stairs and watching everything happen. He thought he recognized the man but no, that couldn’t be, he’d never met him so why would he know him?

He continued into the apartment and immediately went to his backpack. It was still in the same place he had left it. Bucky pulled it from under the bed and sorted through it again.

He set aside the dirty clothes he had in the bag and repacked the rest. There were towels right where Peggy had said, along with travel sized shampoo and bodywash. His sniffed one of the bottles to find it smelled like green tea. Not for the first time, Bucky wondered why they had an apartment stocked with towels and toiletries. He made a note to ask Peggy or Sharon later. He quickly locked the door and checked all the windows before starting the shower.

The bathroom was small, but seemed safe. There were no windows, just a toilet, sink, and standing shower. He hadn’t used a real shower since before he left the Company, and even then it was an open room with multiple shower heads so many people could use it at once. He liked that better than getting hosed down, though, so he never minded much. This shower though? It was luxurious. He set his towel down to the toilet lid and stripped down to nothing. He set the dirty clothes aside. The shower was pretty simple to start, as there was only one handle. He got the water to a good enough temperature and climbed in.

It was amazing, better than the shower room at the Company. The water pressure was high enough and the water stayed hot for longer than two minutes. Bucky closed his eyes and tilted his head up towards the shower head. He could feel the layers of grime washing away. His hair was soaked and, for the first time in what felt like his whole life, he relaxed. He scrubbed at his body, cleaning every part he could reach. The bruises on his arms were tender, he had to be gentle and tried to avoid the large cut on his leg from his run in with that dog last week, but he eventually decided it might be better to clean it. He made another note to look for a first aid kit and find some disinfectant just in case.

The shampoo smelled like coconut. He lathered his hair, working it into the roots. He’d never actually used real shampoo, since the Company just had an all-in-one cleansing soap. When he looked down as the shampoo washed out of his hair, the water was dark and dirty. It was almost hypnotizing, running down the drain and out of sight to make way for cleaner water. He stayed in the shower for longer than he had been allowed to at the Company. He wasn’t sure how long, but he also didn’t care. No one was telling him to stop.

Bucky only got out once the water started running clean and his toes were thoroughly pruned. He tried to dry his hair with the towel, but it could only do so much. He finished drying himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist. The mirror was fogged up. He used his arm to clean it and stared at himself.

He looked different than when he had left the Company, had left Russia. His hair was longer, past his shoulders when it was wet. A beard hid the bottom half of his face. He still had dark circles under his eyes, but they has lessened from the sleep last night. His busted lip was almost healed. Remembering what he had told Becca before he left, he took a deep breath, holding it for seven seconds before letting it out.

_“I’m going to be a better man. I’m going to get a stable job, a normal life, and then I’m coming back here to break you out. I promise. You’ll be safe here until then. I’ll never truly leave you.”_

 

The laundry hadn’t actually taken as long as he had thought. Bucky had thrown every piece of clothing he had in the washer, the towel still around his waist and a knife tied to his thigh, and ran back into the apartment. As he waited, he wrote everything that had happened in the past couple days in his notebook and finished the scone from the night before. He hadn’t been keeping up with writing as much, but he wanted to make sure he would have a record of everything. He didn’t want to forget any part of his new life.

He could hear the washing machine across the hall and when it stopped, he walked back over to move everything to the dryer. During that time, he found a first aid kit under the sink in the bathroom. He fixed up his injuries and used the small pair of scissors to clean up his beard. It wasn’t much, but it was an improvement.

Peggy wasn’t lying when she said no one would come up stairs. He could hear the movements below him, but neither of the owners came up the stairs. Bucky was starting to wonder if anyone else worked here, or if it was just the two of them from dawn to dusk. He added it to his questions list.

By the time his clothes were done, Bucky was bored. He put on his now clean and warm clothing and made his way back downstairs. Sharon was taking biscuits out of the oven, flour smudged on her face. She looked up and smiled at Bucky.

“Hey, enjoy your shower?”

He nodded. “Yes. Thank you for letting me use your washing machine too.”

She waved a hand, still holding the tray of biscuits in the other. “It’s no problem.” She put down the tray and started moving the contents onto a cooling rack.

“Is there anything else I can do to help?”

Sharon tried to look through the doorway and shrugged. “You can ask Aunt Peggy. She probably has something for you.”

Bucky thanked her and went to talk to Peggy. She was walking around the bakery, talking to patrons and picking up dishes. He hadn’t even realized, but it was nearing five pm and the storefront was pretty empty. He stood in the doorway, not knowing what to do. Luckily, she soon spotted him and walked over.

“James. Feeling better after your shower?”

“Yes ma’am. Is there anything I can do to help out?”

She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. “We close in an hour. We always have a surge of customers right before close, which is why Sharon’s making more biscuits. Maybe you could sweep, get a head start on closing.”

“I’m good at sweeping. I always cleaned the floors at, uh…” Bucky’s mouth went dry for a second, as he didn’t know what to say.

Peggy looked at him expectantly. “At...home?”

“Yes,” He bowed his head, “Yes, at home.”

She pursed her lips a bit, a put a hand on his shoulder. “Well, let's go get you a broom. There should be one in my office.”

She led him back to the kitchen and opened the door across from the stairs. Inside was a small room with a window, a desk, and some filing cabinets. Leaning up against of the cabinets was a broom and dustpan. She passed it to him and smiled.

“Don’t worry about near the doors and counter just yet. Do around the tables and in the kitchen first, so you won’t have to redo what you’ve already done. After that, there are cloths and cleaning spray in the cabinet beside the sink. I believe Sharon showed you this morning?” He nodded. “Good. Wipe down the kitchen counters and the top of the stove. Ask Sharon about other closing duties once you finish that.”

Bucky followed her instructions, methodically cleaning the main area and then heading back to the kitchen. Peggy was right, as he had caught on, about the final rush. People came in almost nonstop for the last ten minutes of being open, and Peggy handled all of their orders easily.

When the clock struck six, Sharon was at the door to turn the open sign off and lock the door. Peggy said good night to the last customer and started pulling the blinds down over the windows. Bucky watched as they went through the most basic steps, picking up plates and cups to put in the dishwasher, and putting chairs back at tables. Bucky grabbed the broom again and started sweeping the places he had skipped earlier. They worked in mostly silence, the only words uttered being quiet between Peggy and Sharon or a brief “excuse me” from Bucky. They were done quickly and he didn’t know what to do next.

“Oh, James, do you like Chinese?”

His brow furrowed. “Excuse me?”

“Chinese food.” Peggy said again. “For dinner? It’s either that or Italian. Thursday night is always takeout night.”

“Oh. Yes, I like Chinese food.”

Sharon had her phone in her hand and began typing. “Got any allergies? Dietary restrictions?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m okay with everything.”

“Good.” Sharon smiled.

After she ordered, they sat around talking. Bucky mostly stayed quiet, sitting stiff. He hadn’t ever really been in this situation with basically strangers. Back at the Company, mealtimes were strict. You got your food, ate at your assigned table, then either went to your room for sleep or the activities room for a workout. He had never had to socialize before. It was mostly Sharon and Peggy talking about people and places Bucky didn’t know.

Once the food got there, Bucky realized how hungry he was. He tried not to eat the whole thing though, wanting to save some for tomorrow. He ate all the chicken out of his container, not wanting it to go bad, and half the noodles, leaving the veggies for later. His eating and rationing was interrupted by Sharon.

“So, where you from?”

Bucky looked up, eyebrows raised. “Me?”

She sighed. “Yeah, you’re the new mysterious man. I wanna get to know you.”

“Sharon,” Peggy chided, “Don’t bother him.”

“I was just wondering.” The younger woman rest her face on her hand and continued eating.

Bucky cleared his throat. “I’m from, uh, Indiana.” He hoped his lying had gotten better.

“Ooo,” Sharon sat up again, “Farm boy, huh?”

Bucky shook his head. “Ranch, actually. Raised horses.”  
“So why’d you leave?”

He shrugged. “Got tired of being there. Decided I wanted a better life. I apparently didn’t plan well enough, though, and now I’m here.” At least that part wasn’t a lie. He wouldn’t reveal too much, but he thought that was enough.

The bakery was silent again, as he watched the other two eat. He got up after a minute. “I think I’ll go upstairs. I’m tired.”

“Alright, good night James.” Peggy’s face was soft, comforting, “Come down again tomorrow. Maybe you can help me with baking if you wake up early enough.”

“Maybe.” He waved good night, stopping in the kitchen for a few seconds to make it seem like he threw out his container. He wasn’t sure how they felt about him hoarding food, and he didn’t want to risk suspicion.

Bucky set the food on the top shelf in the closet, hiding it behind a towel. He, again, took his backpack out from under the bed and unpacked its contents. Once he made sure everything was there, he repacked everything but his toothbrush and paste and went to the bathroom. On his way there and back, he checked each window and the door. When all was secure he returned to the bedroom and replaced the toiletries, before crawling into the corner of the bed.

He tried to stay awake again that night, his bag clutched tight to his chest, but just like the night before, sleep overtook him and he was out.

***

 

That cycle continued for a couple weeks. Bucky would wake up, either help Peggy with some baking or Sharon with opening, do some odd jobs during the morning, take time for himself in the afternoons, then help with closing and have dinner with the two women. He would do laundry at least once a week, whenever his shirts started to smell, and took long showers. Sometimes before opening, Sharon would show him how to do some stuff on the register. Peggy was reluctant to actually let him handle customers and money, but she let Sharon teach him.

He learned there were two teenagers who would sometimes come in to help for extra cash. One was Peter, a boy who would sweep and wipe down tables on the weekends. He would talk to Bucky about spiders and other insects, not caring that he never really responded. He also offered to bring on a couple of his favourite comic books for Bucky to read, “in case he got bored”.

The other was Darcy, a girl who talked too loud but was amazing at making cookies without a recipe. She would help with the till on Mondays and Tuesdays. She would sit on the kitchen counter, talking about her older sister and brother-in-law, and how they were both weirdly into space.

He liked both of the kids well enough. They made those four days more interesting at least.

Bucky had also noticed regulars. Even though he was in the back most of the time, he started to recognize voices and how Peggy or Sharon talked to people differently when they knew them. The same man from the first day Bucky was there came in a couple more times. He would always have a large order, and would always insist on carrying it back himself. Bucky would watch him struggle out the door, apologizing to anyone he ran into on the way.

He didn’t know how long he would stay here. He liked working with the women, doing the same thing every day and experiencing a repetitive normal life. Sharon would tease him, flicking flour into his face when he asked a dumb question or making faces at him when Peggy's back was turned. He had gotten used to her, didn’t feel threatened everytime she moved quickly or tried to sneak up on him. This is the life he wanted. This is what he wanted for Becca.

***

 

A couple weeks later he had his first run in with the cops.

It was almost closing, and he was sweeping in the back he heard a couple people come in, talking about work that day. He peeked through the door to see a blond man and a red-headed woman at the counter. They waited for a moment, still talking, and then Bucky heard the man say, “Where’s Peggy? She’s usually out here when we come to pick up dinner.”

“Maybe she’s busy.” The woman responded.

“And Sharon?”

“They both work hard, give them a break. It’s not easy running a bakery.”

The man raised an eyebrow at her. “How do you know? Do you run a secret bakery on the side?”

The woman huffed, her arms crossed. “You don’t know everything about my life, Clint. But no, I do not own a secret bakery.”

The man, Clint, pouted. He pressed the bell on the counter a couple times before the woman slapped his hand.

Bucky took a deep breath and walked out of the back, leaning the broom against the wall.

“Hi, sorry for the wait, how may I help you today?” He had never worked register, but he had heard Peggy and Sharon and seen other people enough times to successfully put on customer-service voice.

Clint squinted, looking Bucky up and down. “Who are you?”

“James,” Bucky replied, “I’ve been helping out.”

The woman uncrossed her arms, suddenly interested in the conversation. “I haven’t seen you around here before, James. Do you live nearby?”

“You could say that,” He shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Now, can I get you anything?”

Clint grinned. “Uh, yeah, can I get two quiches-”

“Two quiche.” The woman interrupted. Clint kept going, barely noticing.

“And two chocolate chip muffins. Nat, do you want anything else?”

Nat cocked her head, staring at Bucky. “Do you do coffee?”

“Yes, ma’am, there is a sign behind me with the types of coffee. We do coffee.” Bucky couldn’t stop the sarcasm in his voice.

“No,” She leaned forward, placing her hands on the counter. “Do _you_ do coffee?”

Bucky bit his lip a bit, “I haven’t actually been trained with the machine yet.”

“That’s fine. I didn’t want any.” Nat straightened back up. “I’m good, just the two quiche and muffins.”

As he started to punch the order into the machine, Clint dug into his pocket and pulled out an ID. It said NYPD on it.

“Oh, we work across the street at the station and, uh, Peggy usually gives us a discount, fifty percent off. You know, the Officer Deal? I’m just letting you know, teaching you the ropes.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed. He didn’t remember Sharon mentioning a deal at all, but they were cops, they couldn’t lie right?

He continued typing in the order, not sure which one was the discount button. As he struggled, he heard someone walking up behind him. Peggy put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him aside a bit.

“Clint, Natasha, always nice to see you. Were you giving the new recruit a hard time?”

Clint grinned, “Of course not, Pegg’s, we would never.”

Peggy hummed, unimpressed. “James, would you get their order ready? I’ll handle the register.”

Bucky ducked out of the way and started to box up the quiche. He listened as Peggy made smalltalk with the two officers, asking about their days and stuff. He placed the two boxes and the small bag of muffins on the counter.

“Peggy, I think I’m going to finish with the kitchen. Are you good out here?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, James. Sharon’s in the back, putting the trash in the bin. Will you ask her to come out and help with the front?”

He dipped his head in confirmation and went to clean the back. As he was leaving, he heard Clint say, “Well, he’s a fun one. Still collecting lost souls?”

Bucky didn’t stay to hear Peggy’s response.

***

 

After a month and a half of being there, Bucky messed up his routine.

He had been tired the night before. It had been Scrub Night, where the three of them and Peter had done a full on cleaning of everything. Peggy had announced it was Scrub Night an hour before closing and Bucky watched as the other two workers groaned.

Peter put his head on the counter and mumbled, “Why am I always here during Scrub Night? It’s not fair.”

“Because we do it on Saturdays,” Peggy said, lightly hitting his head with the newspaper she had been carrying, “And you’re only ever here on the weekend.”

Bucky was still confused, so he asked, “What’s Scrub Night?”

“It’s where we get out the bleach and super disinfectant and clean the whole shop, top to bottom. We even have to move the stove and stuff to get behind it” Sharon said, her lip curled. “We do it every other month and it’s literally Hell.”

They finished out the work day as usual. Peter and Sharon tried to be friendly towards the customers, pretending to forget about Scrub Night as they worked. Bucky was told not to sweep or wipe tables since they would be doing it as a group later.

It had taken close to three hours of sweeping, mopping, wiping, dusting, bleaching, moving appliances, crawling inside stoves, cleaning out the refrigerators, and lots of complaining for the whole store to be clean. Bucky was almost asleep on his feet, having not done that much physical labour in a long time.

When Sharon suggested getting stuff from the shawarma place down the street (“It’s close, they’re open late, they like us, and it doesn’t take long to make,”) no one had argued. They waited around, anxiously, watching the door and making small talk. Bucky was pretty sure they scared the delivery guy when he knocked on the door.

The group scarfed down the wraps, keeping to themselves as they ate. Peter had basically fallen asleep on the table where they were sitting and Peggy had to walk him back to his aunt's apartment. Bucky had gone to sleep soon after that.

He only realized his mistake in the morning, when he woke up and didn’t have any food from the night before to eat. There was some cash in his stolen wallet and he knew there had to be someplace nearby where he could get breakfast before starting for the day.

In the kitchen, Sharon was busy kneading some dough for that days cinnamon rolls. Bucky didn’t want to mention how hungry he was, didn’t want to inconvenience her, so he simply asked. “Are there any good restaurants around here?”

She looked at him, straight faced. “Yeah. Here. I think there’s some eggs still in the fridge.”

“Oh, no I couldn’t-”

“You liked the chili from Wednesday right? We still have a whole container left. Or even grab one of yesterday's cheese buns from the case, Aunt Peggy just put them out again.”

Bucky shook his head again. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to trouble you. I can get my own food.”

“James, you’re up?” He turned around to see Peggy standing in the doorway. “Lovely.”

Sharon didn’t even look up as she spoke, “James is refusing to eat our food.”

Bucky turned back and glared at her. He didn’t know what had come over him, but it all felt quite childish, like when Becca had stuck her tongue out at him when they were kids.

“James-”  
“I’m fine.” Bucky interrupted her, immediately wincing. Back at the Company, interrupting would get him no supper for that day. He knew that wouldn’t happen here, but it was a hard habit to break. “I’m okay. I have a couple dollars, I can buy some fruit at a store if you direct me to one.”

“Absolutely not. You will eat here because we have food.” Peggy's eyes had become worried, like she was trying to deduce what was happening. Bucky didn’t dare to go against her. “Get some food from the fridge, there's cutlery in the drawer next to it. I’m going out front to finish setting up.”

Bucky watched her go before turning to the fridge. He could see Sharon trying not to be obvious about watching him. The fridge was almost full, containers with leftovers covering every shelf. He grabbed the first one he saw and opened it. Sausage, potatoes, onions, and carrots from Friday. Even for leftovers it smelt good. He got a fork from the drawer and sat down at the kitchen island. He ate the food, still angry. He was okay with the little food he had been eating; he didn’t need this.

After he finished, he washed his dishes and set them on the drying rack. Still avoiding Sharon's eyes, he went to the storefront to see if Peggy needed anything. He knew she wouldn’t make a scene if they had patrons.

Unfortunately for him, there was no one there yet. Peggy was standing at the register, counting out the money in it. She stopped when he entered the room.

“James-” she started.

“What do I need to do today?” His voice was monotone. He hated how it sounded, reminded him of the Company. “Is your desk drawer still bothering you?”

She sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. He tried not to tense up at the touch. “James, have you been eating?”

“Of course I’ve been eating. You’ve seen me eat.”

“But have you been eating enough?”

Bucky tried to get away from her stare, but he couldn’t move. He was frozen there. Instead, he ducked his head. “Enough for what I need.”

“James, darling…” She sighed. “You live here now. You help make most of the food we eat. You’re allowed to eat.”

“I-” He chewed on his lip. “I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already am.”

Bucky didn’t know why he was saying this. He wasn’t used to having emotions and feeling the need to say stuff. The closest to this he had ever felt was when he was a kid. Becca had fallen in the dance studio and hurt her ankle. The instructor didn’t care, of course, and she had to finish off the session with tears in her eyes. She had gone to Bucky immediately afterwards, where he had calmed her. He had felt sad for her. No, not for her. With her. They had stayed on his bed for quite some time, until the swelling had gotten too bad to not do anything about.

He saw the same pain that he had felt then in Peggy's eyes. She led him back into the kitchen and motioned for Sharon to leave them alone. She mumbled something about having to wipe down the register and left.

Peggy sat Bucky down at the island again. “I don’t know your past, and I don’t need to.” Bucky opened his mouth to defend himself but she put up a hand. “I know your ranch story is fake. I don’t care, but you’ve been here for what, a month?”

“Six weeks.” Bucky whispered. “And four days.”

“Yes, six weeks. I’m known for taking in strays, I mean just ask Sharon.” Suddenly, Peggy looked so tired. She gave Bucky a weak smile and continued. “I don’t know anything about your past, but I trust you. Don’t ask me why, but I do. And I trust that you’ll eat when you’re hungry. The fridge is always there for you, and you can take what you need.”

Bucky had never had a mother. Well, he supposed that he had one at some point since he had to have been born, but no one at the Company had parents. Once they could walk and speak, they were being trained. He couldn’t remember ever being cared for by a mother. Talking to Peggy is what he thought having a mother would feel like though.

Bucky nodded then put his head down. “Thank you, Peggy.”

She patted his leg and got up. “If you’re able, can you fix the drawer of my desk this morning? Thank you, dear.”

He watched her go before getting up. Sharon nervously poked her head back into the kitchen. There was a smile on her face once she saw Bucky was okay.

“After these cinnamon rolls get made, you are getting the first one.”

He chuckled a bit, sniffing. “Whatever you say. I have to fix Peggy's desk.”

“Good luck.”

 

That night at dinner it was just Bucky and Sharon. Peter had gone home just after the store closed and Peggy had said she was feeling tired and went up to bed.

Bucky pushed his broccoli around. Sharon narrowed her eyes. Through a full mouth she said, “What, don’t like dinner?”

“Earlier, Peggy said something.” He shrugged. “She said she’s known for picking up strays, to ask you about it.”

Sharon put down her fork and took a deep breath. “You’ve realized she’s not my real aunt right? Well, judging by the look on your face I’m guessing not. Peggy adopted me off the street. I had ran away from my third...no, fourth foster home. The foster dad was a real dick, getting drunk every other night and throwing empty cans against my door. I had had enough, so I packed a bag and snuck out the window. Caught the bus, took it to the end of the line, ended up here.” She smiled at the memory. “I may have picked the lock and tried to steal some tarts. Peggy heard me and came down. I can still see it, her bathrobe was only half done up and there was a knife strapped to her leg and a pistol in her hand. She didn’t shoot it, of course, I was just a twelve year old girl, shoving a tart in my face. No, she took me in and set up a room in her apartment for me. Taught me how to clean and bake. I called her Aunt Peggy and it stuck.”

Bucky watched her tell her story, her past, silently. He could understand where she was coming from. He wanted to tell her how he had experienced the same, had run away from a terrible life and ended up with Peggy Carter. But he didn't. He couldn’t.

“Thank you for telling me.” He said instead.

“No problem.” Sharon shrugged. “Peter is basically on his own. His aunt does a lot, but she’s been heartbroken since her husband died and can’t work as much. And Darcy? She’s a wild one. Works here then goes to her brother-in-law's gym to help out, all so she won’t die of boredom. You’re one of us now.”

They ate the rest of their dinner quietly. Bucky washed their dishes afterwards while Sharon dried and put them away. They walked upstairs together and said good night at the top.

Bucky went through his nightly routine of sorting through his backpack, brushing his teeth, and checking the windows and door. But for the second night in a row, he went to sleep without rationing food.

***

 

Bucky had started to be on register more often. Peggy had suggested he do it one morning when she had to go to an appointment and Sharon was busy making sandwiches for the lunch rush. Bucky had been surprised, but agreed. Sharon even started teaching him how to make coffee. He really liked making latte art, even though he could really only do a simple leaf and a heart.

He’d gotten pretty good at talking to people in a casual sense, considering he hadn’t had very many chances in his almost thirty years of life. There were a few people he knew by name, either from them telling him or Peggy addressing them when they came in.

He was working the counter one morning when the tall man from the first day came in. Bucky had seen him a few times since then, when he would look out from the kitchen. He would stop for a moment and admire him. He was always smiling, a blush on his cheeks when either of the women would compliment his tenacity to carry everything himself.

Now, his face scrunched up a tiny bit in confusion when he saw Bucky, but it faded as he drew nearer to the counter.

“Good morning,” Bucky said, “What can I get you?”

“Four breakfast sandwiches, two croissants, three ice coffees, a latte, and four regular coffees, one black, the rest with two milk two sugar.” The man gave a weak smile. “Sorry, I know it’s a lot.”

Bucky shook his head. “No problem, it might just take a while.”

As he started to make the drinks, he was glad it was a slow morning.

“So, I haven’t seen you around before.” Bucky looked up as the man spoke. “Are you new here?”

“Yes. Peggy is letting me work here while I…” He faltered, pretending to be caught up in making coffee while thinking of what to say. “While I get back on my feet.”

The man hummed, watching him work. “Yeah, Peggy’s like that.”

He finished up the order and placed it on the counter as the man paid. The man started to pick up the drinks, then paused and extended a hand.

“I’m Steve.”

Bucky looked at it before slowly reaching out to grab it. “James.”

“It was nice to meet you James. Hopefully I’ll be seeing you more often?”

Bucky cocked his head to the side and said, “You’re the officer from the picture. The one by the door.”

Steve chuckled, a low but melodic sound. “I’m in a lot of these photos, pal. Peggy invites me to every family dinner.”

“Well, that makes sense then.” Bucky could feel his face start to get hot. He needed to get a hold of himself.

“Maybe I’ll see you at one of them? A dinner, I mean.” Steve bit his lip, as if he was trying to shut himself up. “I know Peggy will drag you along, given that you work here now.”

Bucky let out a quick breath, almost a laugh. “I doubt it.”

“We’ll see.” Steve picked up the coffees and headed towards the door. “Bye, James. See you later.”  
As the door shut, Bucky let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He pushed his bangs back and turned around. Sharon was leaning against the doorframe leading into the kitchen.

“So, you met Steve?”

Bucky turned away from her so she wouldn’t she his cheeks turning red. “He seems nice.”

“He is,” Sharon said. She walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. Bucky tensed a bit in reflex. He was still getting used to how touchy the Carters were. “He seemed to like you, too.”

“He did?”

Sharon hummed. “Steve didn’t really talk to me much when he first started at the precinct. He’ll smile and be polite with Darcy and Peter, but he’s not really into small talk. He likes you, trust me.”

Bucky nodded and he could feel a light smile on his lips. “Well, I hope I see him more then.”

“You will.” She patted his shoulder. “Can you go look at the back door? It wasn’t closing properly.”

***

 

Steve became another constant in Bucky’s life. He would come to get food or drinks for his coworkers at the precinct, and he would talk to Bucky and laugh at what he said back, but not in a mean way like the instructors at the Company did. It was genuine. He was actually interested in the words Bucky said.

He loved when Steve would come in. They talked more than Bucky did with the other detectives. The others always asked him how his day was and what treats were new, but Steve asked how _Bucky_ was. There was always something different in his tone. He seemed to care; it wasn’t just pleasantries.

Bucky’s favourite memory was when Steve came in one time after work. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes and a brown leather jacket over his normal uniform, but as soon as he saw Bucky his whole face lit up.

“James, how are you?”

“I’m doing alright.” He replied. “Long day?”

Steve sighed and dropped his head back. “Long week. There’s this big case Sam and I were given. I can’t talk much about it, but it involves a Russian terrorist group.”

“Sounds awful. What can I get for you today?” Bucky could feel himself smiling. He always did around Steve.

“Well,” Steve leaned on the counter, “What would you suggest?”

Bucky crouched by the display case. He could see Steve peering over the counter and watching him. He didn’t mind.

“Sharon was working on this strawberry muffin recipe and finally decided to sell it. And we made some tuna sandwiches on croissants earlier.”

“Ew.” Steves nose wrinkled up. “I hate fish.”

“No tuna, got it.” Bucky stood up. “Give me a minute, I think I’ve got something.”

He went to the kitchen, leaving Steve at the counter. Peggy was sitting at the island, rolling out some dough for tomorrow's cookies.

“Hello James. I heard Steve out there. Are you okay?”

Bucky went over the the industrial fridge and started poking around. “Yeah, I’m just looking for that apple pie you made earlier. I know it was experimental, but…”

“But it’s for Steve? Try under the cookie tray.”

The pie had smelled delicious when it was baking. Bucky knew it would be perfect. He pulled out the pie tin and cut a slice. Carefully, he carried it out to the front to pack up.

“What's that?” Steve asked once he came back into view.

“Something special,” Bucky said, placing it inside a box with a fork and napkin. “Just for you.”

“Wh-James. You didn’t have to…”

He shook his head. “Nope. No complaining. Peggy made this earlier. It’s not going to be on the menu yet, but I thought you’d like to try it.”

“Oh,” Steve’s face went soft, his cheeks turned a bit pink. He pulled out his wallet but Bucky shook his head.  
“On the house, since you’ve had such a long day.” He placed the box on the counter.”Let me know what you think, Peggy will want to know.”

“Thank you, James.” Steve picked it up and started to turn to the door. He paused and looked back. “Really, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Steve. Have a nice evening.”

The detective smiled and nodded, then headed out the door.

The rest of the night, it’s all Bucky could think about. He thought about Steve’s smile, and hoped he liked the pie. He worried he had overstepped or that Steve would think he was weird. When Peggy and Sharon were talking over dinner, he barely paid attention. All his thoughts were on Steve.

The anxiety settled the next day though. Clint came in for the morning coffee run while Bucky was tightening a loose leg on a chair.

“James, buddy.”

He looked up and saw a smiling face above. “Clint. Good morning. If no ones at the counter, I can-”  
“Nah, don’t worry ‘bout it. I can call for Sharon. I was just gonna tell you that Steve says ‘Thanks, the pie was delicious. It was sweet, but the apples had enough tart to balance it out.’”

Bucky felt his face get warm. “Oh. Okay. Thank you, I’ll uh. I’ll tell Peggy. Did he say...anything else?”

Clint started walking to the counter. “Sorry man, seems like my hearing aids acting up. Can’t hear you. Gonna get coffee now. See you later.”

Bucky quickly finished the chair. He didn’t quite know what he was feeling. His throat was getting tight and his cheeks were hot. Physically it felt like anxiety, but in his heart...He stood up and tested the chair. The wiggle was gone. He waved at Sharon to let her know it was good now and headed upstairs. He needed a shower.

***

 

It was a normal Tuesday. Bucky had been fiddling with the leaky sink, not too sure why the dripping had started up again. Peggy was at the island with some tart crusts, filling them up with lemon custard and strawberry jam. He could hear Darcy’s laugh coming from the front. She was probably talking to Sharon, talking about her weekend. She always seemed to be doing wild stuff, things Bucky had never dreamed of. Just last weekend she had crowd surfed at a concert and gotten a concussion. Bucky had gotten concussions too, but never from anything fun.

After a while, when he was sure the water would stop for at least a week if not more, Bucky got up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He frowned a bit at the marks his fingers left. He would have to do laundry again sooner than he had hoped.

Peggy passed him the apron that he had earlier set on the counter and he put it on. Another part of their silent working was how she always seemed to understand what he needed. As soon as he finished a maintenance task, she would assign him to something else. Bucky didn’t mind, of course. It was part of their agreement.

“Counter?” He asked. It was all he had to say.

She nodded, scooping some more jam into a crust. “Send back Sharon. She needs to go to the store.”

He silently made his way to the front. Sharon looked up at him and he pointed towards the kitchen. She finished up with the customer at the counter, then let Bucky know the order before ducking into the back.

He and Darcy worked well together. She was definitely his favourite co-worker. She did all the talking, all he had to do was look interested and occasionally say “really?” or “wow”. She would grin at him and try to slap his leg with the cloth she was holding and he would dodge out of the way while holding two hot coffees, somehow not spilling a drop. It was easy, fun. She reminded him of Becca though, sometimes so much that it hurt.

Bucky had only been up front for about fifteen minutes when he saw Steve come in. He tried to straighten his grey shirt. It was the nicer of the two he owned, a little more tightly fitted, and he always wore it when he thought he’d be seeing Steve. He remembered his pants and was glad he was wearing an apron.

“James!” Steve’s face lit up when he saw Bucky. “Well, if it isn’t my favourite barista.”

Bucky could feel his cheeks grow warm as he smiled back. “Steve. Let me guess, coffee order?”

Steve faked a wince. “Ooo, so close. Pastries.”

Bucky punched the order into the register and got to work packing up the sweets. He pretended he didn’t know each of the detectives favourite pastries off by heart. He pretended it was just warm because the oven was on and that’s why his face became red. He pretended that Steve’s smile didn’t make his knees weak, make him want to lay down and close his eyes to dream of what it was like to be around Steve outside of the bakery.

When everything was in their respectable bags, Bucky put them on the counter. Steve had his hands in his pockets and a dopey grin on his face.

“So,” the detective started, “There’s a barbeque here this weekend, right?”

Even though it was stated like a question, it didn’t feel like one. Bucky knew that _Steve_ knew that there was a barbeque. He also knew that it was for Steve’s birthday, since Darcy had mentioned it no less than a thousand times. Bucky nodded a bit in response.

“Are you going to be there?” Steve tried to make it sound casual, but Bucky could detect something else hidden in the tone.

“I’m not sure,” Bucky tried to keep his tone playful, but he could feel anxiety rising. “Am I invited?”

Steve cocked his head to the side and hummed. “Maybe...I mean, it is my birthday, but why would I want a handsome man like you there?”

“Mm, yeah. I’d probably just mess everything up.”  
“You’d flirt with all the girls, steal my spotlight.”

“Eat the whole cake. You wouldn’t even get one slice!”

Steve laughed, warm and friendly. “Seriously, you’re going to come?”

“Sure,” Bucky put the bags on the counter. “Someone has got to entertain Peter.”

“Okay. Then I’ll uh, I’ll see you there. Here. Saturday. I’ll be here on Saturday.” Steve was grinning big. Bucky smiled back.

“Oh, your bags. That’ll be $24.50.” He handed them over as Steve passed him the money. “I’ll see you Saturday.”  
“Saturday.” Steve repeated.

“Saturday.” Bucky was lost in his blue eyes.

“Saturday?” Steve said again, laughing as he walked out of the bakery. “See ya, James.”

After he left, Bucky felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Darcy standing there with a grin.

“What?” He started to put the money away, trying to hide his face from her. He knew he was blushing.

“You need something nice to wear.” She gave him an up-and-down. “I’ve only ever seen you in those jeans, and while that shirt makes you look all sexy and stuff it’s not a great shirt. Do you have _anything_ else?”

“My black shirt.”

“And?”

“Well…” Bucky furrowed his brow and started to move around her. “My jacket makes both of them look nice.”

“Holy shit.” Darcy grabbed his arm and tried to pull his back to her. “Are you a minimalist?”

“No.” He just didn’t have a need for more clothes. Or money. Or time.

A man at the till cleared his throat, trying to get either of the employees’ attentions.

“Just a minute, sir, I’m having an epiphany.” Darcy snapped at him then returned her attention to Bucky. “James. We need to get you something nice. Or at least something better than…this.”

“Darcy, I’m going to serve this man. I don’t have time for new clothes. Get back to work, because Peggy is in the back and she can probably hear everything we’re saying.”

“Hm. Fine.” Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. “We’ll talk about this later.”  
“No, Darcy-” But she walked away and started clearing off tables. He sighed and looked at the man. “I’m sorry about that, sir. What can I get you?”

 

Sharon turned off the open sign and locked the front door. Bucky grabbed the broom and started cleaning while Peggy emptied the register.

They moved through their nightly routine in silence, except for Darcy. She was wiping down the tables and talking the whole time.

“And then he brought her a new mug! To apologize for the one he broke. He’s too nice, I don’t know how he exists.”

“Are Thor and Jane coming to the barbeque this weekend? I’m sure Steve would want to see them again.” Peggy asked.

“Oh yeah, I think so.” Darcy paused and looked over at Bucky. “Speaking of this weekend, James doesn’t have anything to wear.  I was thinking I could take him to the mall this week and get something new.”

“Oh yeah!” Sharon smiled. “That sounds like a good idea.”  
Bucky kept sweeping. “I have to work, right Peggy?”

“James, you’ve been working almost every day for the past 3 months.” Peggy sighed. “I think it’s technically illegal to not give you a day off. Go get clothes.”

Bucky bit his lip. “But, Darcy. Don’t you have school?”

“It’s June. Summer vacation.” She rolled her eyes. “Just give up and come to the mall with me.”

Everyone was quiet, watching Bucky think. He couldn’t come up with another reason not to without revealing that he didn’t have the money. He had stolen all the clothes from Company’s costume supply, and he wanted new stuff. He wanted to look nice for Steve even though he didn’t know why. But…

“Oh, James?” Peggy’s voice broke through his thoughts. “I believe I owe you some money for your work the past few months.”

He let out a breath. “Okay. I’ll go with Darcy and get some new stuff.”

“Yeah!” Darcy cheered. “Thursday afternoon, I’ll meet you here.”

“Fine. We need to finish cleaning.” Bucky dropped his head. “I’m getting hungry.”

The bakery fell back into comfortable silence and they all continued their work.

***

 

Bucky looked at himself in the mirror. He looked so different. It was still him looking back, but he had never seen himself like this before.

After they had gotten him a whole new wardrobe, Darcy had taken him to a barber shop. He had all but begged her not to cut off his hair, which she hadn’t.

In the mirror, he looked at his new face. His beard was shorter, more kempt. His hair was too. Instead of reaching his shoulders, his hair fell near his chin. He could still pull it back, but it looked intentional instead of the result of running around the world without care for his appearance. He liked it. Bucky smiled at himself before turning away from the mirror. He pulled on a pair of dark skinny jeans and the maroon long sleeve that Darcy had forced him to get.

The usual routine of going through his bag went faster than usual. He had decided to throw out his old clothes, and the new stuff was hanging in his closet. There were too many to fit in his backpack. He put the bag back under his bed and took a walk around the apartment. Once the windows were locked and everything was in order, he grabbed the gift he had gotten for Steve, and walked out the door and up to the roof patio.

Bucky saw Peggy first. She was sitting next to Sharon, who was checking the steaks on the barbeque. There was a fold-up table next to them with the food they had been preparing all day. Sam was with them, eyeing one of the steaks.

“James,” Peggy smiled as he approached. “You look very nice. We were just talking to Sam about the fireworks tonight.”

“Fireworks?” Bucky took a step back. No one had mentioned anything about that before. He didn’t like explosions very much.

Sam nodded. “Every Fourth of July, some idiots set them off. They’re not allowed to in the city but,” he shrugged, “It’s hard to find them before they do. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky frowned a bit. He forgot it was Independance Day here. “I’m probably going to go in when those start then.”

“Steve will probably join you.” Sharon cut in. “Maybe Clint too, but he usually just turns off his ears and sits with Lucky.”

She gestured to Clint, who was sitting at a table with Natasha and a couple people he didn’t recognize. A golden retriever was laying on the ground next to him.

“Do you know how you want your steak?”

Bucky looked back at Sharon, and then at the steaks. “Medium rare, if possible?”

“Sounds good.” She smiled. “It’ll probably go on the grill next round.”

Bucky made a bit more small talk with them before moving over to the next group. He wanted to check on the dog. It didn’t seem violent, but he wanted to be sure.

“Hey, James!” Clint saw him first. “Wanna come sit with us?”

He placed his gift for Steve next to another box and a few cards and moved around the table so he was still sitting near them, but was distanced from the dog.

Natasha noticed his position. “Lucky’s a good dog. He won’t hurt you unless you attack first.”

“Yeah,” Clint reached down and rubbed the dogs head. “He’s my good Pizza Dog.”

“Yes! He is a very good dog.” The other man at the table said loudly. The woman next to him smiled and patted his arm.

“James, right?” She asked. “I’m Jane, Darcy’s sister. This is my husband, Thor.”

“Nice to meet you.” He responded.

Bucky talked with them for a while, hearing about weird people at the gym where Thor works. He kept looking around the roof, trying to find Steve. Sam had somehow gotten roped into playing a violent looking card game with Darcy and Peter. Peggy was talking to another woman Bucky hadn’t met, and they seemed to be laughing at the teens and Sam. It was a friendly place, and no one seemed to think it weird that Bucky was there.

Natasha looked up from her phone. “Steve said he had to park around the corner, but he’s just walking up now.”

“Okay,” Sharon lifted a couple steaks off the grill and placed them on plates. “I’ll go let him in. Start eating if you’re hungry, too.”

Bucky suddenly started to feel nervous. He had gotten used to the people around but now _Steve_ would be here. He knew it was just Steve, but at the same time…

The door opened back up a couple minutes later. He looked amazing. Blue jeans, a soft looking sweater, a leather jacket over it. Bucky found it hard to look away. He didn’t want to seem weird.

Steve gave Peggy a hug, laughing at something she said right before.

“Sorry I’m late. Mr. Lee needed some help with his kitchen lights.” He was grinning at everyone. “I hope you weren’t waiting for me before eating!”

“Nah man,” Sam put a hand on his back. “Sharon’s just a slow griller.”

“Hey,” she glared at him, “Just for that I’m going to overcook yours.”

Bucky watched Steve move around the patio, greeting everyone. As he got closer to Bucky, his face lit up.

“James! You changed your hair!” He sat down at the table with them.

“Yeah,” Bucky tucked a bit behind his ear. “It’s shorter than I’m used to.”

“It looks really good.”

“Thank you.”

Steve started talking to everyone else at the table, but Bucky was still lost in his smile. Steve’s blue eyes.

Sam set a plate across from Bucky and started eating. He leaned over and whispered, “Go get some food, James. He’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Wh-” He started to protest, but didn’t want Steve to hear. “Alright.”  
“I’ll save your seat.” Steve said when Bucky stood up. “And get some macaroni salad. Peggy is the only one who makes it as good as my mom did.

He quickly got a plate and filled it. Peggy had really gone overboard, making too many salads, a giant pot of mashed potatoes, two plates stacked with corn, and of course the two pies for dessert: apple and strawberry-rhubarb.

When he got back to the table everyone else had migrated over and most of them had food. But Bucky’s spot was still open, right beside Steve.

“So then I just let go of all the leashes, feeling completely defeated.” Clint was talking with huge arm gestures. If Natasha didn’t have amazing dexterity even while looking at her phone, she would’ve gotten hit multiple times. “And then, all of a sudden, there she is. A tiny gremlin like creature, having distracted all of the dogs from the squirrel.”

“Don’t talk about Kate that way,” Natasha said. “She’s not tiny.”

“Well she’s shorter than me, so that’s tiny.” Clint pouted, but it quickly turned into a grin. “Anyway, it was awesome.”

Steve leaned over to Bucky. “Kate is Clint’s sister, but not really.”

“Okay…” Bucky didn’t get it and Steve didn’t elaborate. It still seemed like an exciting story.

The rest of the night was just that. Exciting stories from everyone at the table. Peggy talked about her time in the War. Peter told a story about when he and his friend accidentally released a spider during a field trip, but he cut it off pretty quick when his aunt, the woman who had been talking to Peggy, gave him a look. There were a couple stories from Darcy about dumb guys at the gym.

Steve absorbed every story, asking questions and laughing at the right times. It was amazing to Bucky that someone could be so at ease conversing with a lot of people.

“Well,” Peggy looked at her watch. “I think we have just enough time to do pie and gifts before the fireworks start, if you want to Steve?”

“That sounds wonderful, Peggy. Let me help you cut the p-”

“No,” She pointed at him. “Sit down. This is for your birthday. Clint can help me, he’s done nothing today.”

“Aw, Peggs. Come on.” Clint whined. “I’m watching the dog.”

She raised an eyebrow at Lucky, who had rolled over and fallen asleep soon after the plate he was given was clean. “Mm, I don’t think so. Get up.”

As Clint helped with the pie, Darcy brought over and the gifts and Sam cleared the plates. They seemed to have a system.

“There’s a special one from James.” Darcy placed the boxes and envelopes in front of Steve and winked.

Bucky’s face started to flush and he took a deep breathe. “It’s not _special._ It’s just a gift…”

“Thank you, James. And everyone.” Steve looked around the table. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

“Shut up and open a card already.” Sam rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile.

“Alright, I am.” Steve started to reach for Bucky’s box, but grabbed a card instead. “I’ll save the presents for last.”

Peggy passed out pie as Steve was opening stuff. Each card had a bit of money in it and sentimental script. After each one, he thanked whoever gave it to him and gently replaced it in the envelope.

Bucky started feeling bad about not getting a card. He had just written ‘From James’ on the paper. But before he could feel too bad, Steve was opening it.

Darcy had taken him to an art store when he had recalled Steve saying he liked painting. Bucky had picked it out with a little help from the store clerk and wrapped it with some paper Sharon found in her closet.

Steve looked up from the watercolour set and met Bucky’s eyes. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out for a couple seconds.

“Thank you, James. I love it.”

Bucky shrugged, trying to play it off. “Yeah, I remember you saying you like painting. The guy at the store suggested this.”

Steve smiled. “It’s wonderful. I haven’t done watercolour for years, but I definitely will now.”

“Aw, how cute.” Clint called from down the table. “Now open the last thing!”

Steve opened the second present, which turned out to be a book from Thor and Jane, but Bucky was just watching his face. He had been so happy with something Bucky had given him. _Bucky._ Who barely knew the man. It was a nice feeling.

And then the first firework went off.

Bucky forgot where he was for a second and dropped to the ground, surveying the area. He saw Steve covering his ears.

“Steve, James.” He could hear Peggy, but she sounded far away. “Get to our apartment. It’s the quietest. I left the door unlocked.”

Steve held out a hand for Bucky and pulled him across the roof and down the stairs to the second floor. A couple more fireworks went off in that time, but they were soon safely in Peggy and Sharon’s apartment. Once the door was shut they could barely hear them.

Bucky had been in their apartment a couple times. It was crowded and cozy. Pictures on the wall, just like in the storefront, and a big couch with plush throw pillows. Steve collapsed on one and sighed.

“Not a fan of fireworks either?”

Bucky shook his head and sat beside him. “They just remind me too much of...other stuff.”

“Yeah, I get that. I’m fine with guns and stuff, have to be for work, but fireworks have just always scared me. Sucks that they always go off during my birthday, huh?”

Bucky closed his eyes, forcing himself to breath and calm down.

“Hey, are you okay? Need me to get you some water or something?”

“No,” Bucky opened his eyes again. “I’m fine, Just needed a minute.”

Steve still seemed worried, but he leaned back. “Alright. I’m here if you need anything though.”

“Thank you, Steve.”

“Of course.”

They talked for a while about whatever came to mind. Bucky asked about Steve’s family and life. His mom died when he was in the academy; he became a cop to protect the innocent; Peggy pretty much adopted him after a couple visits to the bakery. Bucky felt warm, listening to Steve talk about himself. He loved it.

“Thank you again for the watercolours. I love them so much.”

Bucky looked up from his hands, where he had been fidgeting with loose string on a pillow. “Oh. Yeah, you’re welcome. I remembered that you said you liked art.”

Steve hummed. “I do. It was the only thing I really enjoyed when I was younger that I could do. I was bedridden a lot, sick all the time. Mom would buy me pencil crayons when she was able, but I went through them so fast. I eventually started taking art classes in middle school and loved painting. Usually acrylic, but I always wanted to do oil. I wasn’t very good with watercolours, but I’m excited to practice again.”

Bucky frowned a bit. “Isn’t there special watercolour paper? I should’ve gotten you that too.”

Steve laughed. “James, you didn’t need to get me anything. I’m sure I can get paper on my own. I really appreciate it though.”

“You’ll have to show me some of your work. You’re making yourself sound like a master.”  
“I wouldn’t say master, but I’ve done some pretty good stuff. I think Peggy has one of my landscapes in her bedroom.” Steve sighed, content. “I can’t wait to bring those paints to the park. That’s going to be fun.”

They stayed in the apartment until Sharon appeared, letting them know the fireworks had stopped for now. Steve jumped up, ready to get back to his other friends, but waited for Bucky to join him before walking back up to the roof.

 

Everyone had left just after one am. People had work and stuff to do the next day, so the party wrapped up pretty easily. Steve had given Bucky a hug right before he left.

“Thanks for coming, James. I really liked talking to you.”

“Yeah, I had fun.” Bucky smiled. “Have a good night. Get home safe.”  
“I’ll text when I do.”

The whole night replayed in Bucky’s head. Each interaction with Steve. Every time their arms brushed when they were next to each other. Every joke that made Steve laugh, his whole face smiling. Bucky had fallen.

As he wiped down a table, Peggy sat in one of the chairs next to it.

“Hi, Peggy. The barbeque was really good, thank you.”

A warm smile met his. “I’m very glad you enjoyed it. You seemed to be stuck to Steve’s side all night.”

“Oh,” Bucky felt his face start to flush. “Yeah. I know him best, besides you and Sharon.”

“Steve’s a nice man. Kind, caring. He really needs someone.” Peggy looked up at the sky. There were very few stars as they were hidden by light pollution, but the moon shone bright. “He likes you too, James.”

“Excuse me?” His brow furrowed.

She sighed and got up. “I hope you’re happy with us at the bakery. We all care about you.”

“I am.” Bucky said. “This place is safe.”  
“Hmm. Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He watched her walk away, descending to the second floor, and thought about her words as he finished cleaning.

***

 

It was a Monday evening, right before close, when Bucky saw Steve next. He looked tired after work, but smiled when he saw Bucky.

“Hey, how are you?”

Bucky smiled back. “I’m alright.”

“That’s good.” Steve looked around the storefront before continuing. “I was actually hoping I would see you today.”  
“Oh?” Bucky could feel anxiety rising in his chest. “What for?”

“I really enjoyed talking with you at my birthday. I wasn’t sure I even wanted a party this year, but you made it worth it.” Steve paused and bit his lip, trying to find the words to say. “You’re a really cool guy.”

“Thank you.” There was silence for a moment as Bucky processed the words. “You are too. Cool, I mean. You’re also a cool guy.”

The detective laughed a bit. “I like hanging out with you. Everytime I come in here and you’re working, my day gets better.”

Bucky could hear his heart pounding in his ears. A guy had never talked about him like this before. No one had. He wasn’t sure what to say, and he could feel warmth growing. Moving from his stomach to his chest to his face. And Steve was just looking at him, his cheeks red.

“I hope I’m not overstepping,” Steve seemed to be picking his words very carefully, “As I am a customer and you’re at work, but I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime. Just us. On a date.”

Bucky could feel his mouth open, speaking without him really making himself. “Yes. I would really like that.”

“Yeah?” The detective grinned. “Okay. Yeah. We’ll uh, we’ll find a time that works later? I’ve got to get home now, but I’ll call you.”

“I don’t have a phone.” Bucky replied.

“Well, I’ll call Peggy and get her to put you on.”

Bucky nodded, ecstatic. “Okay.”

Steve started backing towards the door. He paused right before opening it. “I’ll talk to you later, James.”

Before he could walk out, Bucky spoke. “Bucky! You can call me Bucky. It’s my nickname.”

“Okay. Bucky.” He bit his lip. “I’ll see you later, Bucky.”

He watched the other man go, excitedly walking away. He looked back in through the window and waved before disappearing around a corner.

And Bucky didn’t know what to expect from the future. He didn’t know what would come next. But he felt in his heart that he would be safe and happy here.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate Kudos and Comments if you liked it. This is the longest Stucky fic I've ever written and I'm so happy with how it turned out. I'm @is-this-just-an-illusionn on tumblr if you'd like to come say hi.
> 
> Read, Write, Love


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